|
mrtekkid
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Ron
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Reading
Birthday: 2/26/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: GOD, America's Army, Boy Scouts, BCTV, Laser Quest, Past State President for YNCT, and National 1st Vice President, Star Trek(let the rambling about how much of a dork I am begin...we prefer the term Trekkie though please...), friends, G-Cube, DJing, Stargate SG1, Stargate Atlantis, and what makes life worth living...girls :)
Expertise: Computer related things, TV production, Digital Media, and winning on Slime Time Live, DJ Swims, America's Army....whatever else....
Occupation: Student - Laser Quest Crew Mem
Industry: Laser Quest -
"The Best Laser
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Mrtekkid
MSN: ron.bush@gmail.com
ICQ: 
Yahoo:  mrtekkid
Member Since:
2/13/2004
|
|
|
This year was amazing. You do not need me to tell you that though. I am writing another one of these things because it is easier for me to express my feelings this way. I write when something is bothering me, you should know that by now. And I am not waiting forever to write this and I want you to see it as soon as possible.
Louisianna. What possibly would posess me to go on a two day car drive to get there? You. Just the memories of last year or our phone conversations had me ready to go. The people I worked with could see the extra spring in my step as I walked into work on that last day before vacation, oozing anticipation. The sleep the night before I left home was restless. The morning I left I was as excited as a little kid who was just handed candy. As we entered the rally my heart began racing. My eyes hurridely scanned the horizon until I found you. I burst out of the van running in your direction. One year apart, finally closing with every advancing stride.
I rush up behind you and cover your eyes, making you guess who it could possibly be. Seconds pass. I watch your eyes shift as you finally figure out who it is. You quickly twirl around and embrace me as tightly as you possibly can. I return it by hugging you, showing how much we actually missed each other. After spending some time with you, that first night was my most pleasant night sleep in a few days.
I was happy to be back with my YNCT friends. A few familiar faces appear as well as new ones and ones I have not seen in awhile. It's quite amazing how there are hardly any conflicts between the youth. We always hang out together and there is no age barrier. Young kids hanging out with older kids and different social groups combine. The youth always mold into one being. We are YNCT.
The moments that I treasure most in YNCT though are the ones I have with you. What we have formed in the past few years since I met you is something unique. Whether at a rally or on the phone the emotions, feelings and experiences we have shared have strengthened that relationship. We have been through a lot together and helped eachother too. When I mention this two conversations in particular imeadiatly come to mind, the conversation we had Thanksgiving night and the conversation we had around Christmas.
Even sitting here right now I am trying to recount every moment, every feeling in words. Not wanting to forget anything. This obviously can not easily be done but I will try my best. We are humans though, prone to forgetfullness, love, emptiness and heartbreak. That is why I write. I don't ever want to forget.
And yet it seems just like yesterday I had just arrived and embraced. Eventually I found myself in a big group circle swaying getting ready to say our goodbyes. We leave the youth building one last time and walked around in a big group, no one ready to leave quite yet. Somehow the group gradually gets smaller as people break off for their campers and we tell them to take care whether we see them again or not.
Soon we are standing in our little group outside of your camper no one wanting to move, no one wanting to leave. Eventually though they are gone and we are inside of your camper. I get to say goodbye to your grandparents one last time before I don't get to see them for awhile. I grab my stuff and you follow me back outside the camper. It's just us. Just like last year, it comes down to this. We hug a few more times, wiping tears away and reassuring eachother that it would be okay. I try to stall as long as possible to stretch out and preserve every last precious moment. Then that noise happens again that pierces my heart.
Your door is closed and no one stands outside anymore. It is bare. The chairs are all gone and I find myself standing there with bags of memories now in my hands. I take a few yards and turn around and I could swear that I could see your silloutte standing in the doorway. I reach my hand out to try and grab you and pull you closer one last time, but to no avail. After I see you disappear from the window, I turn and take a few steps before I drop my bags and collapse. Now I am truly alone. Tears now streaming down my face harder than earlier in the night.
I beg God to take away my pain, I ask why? Every precious breath I struggle to take in I talk to him. Why did he have to do this to me again? At the time I did not understand why, but now I do. He wants me, us, to treasure each precious moment we have together. To remember everything. And while I keep telling myself that for closure, I don't want that to be the case. I want to stay with you. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I am up for suprises. Are you? | | |
| okay....yea... i dont really care who this offends.... especially since like.... its a proven fact, so its not like discriminating against anyone....
for the record (mark this in your calendars to reference me in the future) i will NEVER date/be interterested in another redneck girl again....
for plenty of reasons.....you can pour money and time and feelings into them.... and unless you are wearing one of these.....
you dont stand a chance with them...even after all the poetry you write them
basically..... dont even try...its not worth your time as i have learned..... i will only date blue collar girls from here on out that know what a guy is really made of..... not by the hat he wears on his head....
thank you
this report by me can be found online as well at the following websites as hosted proven theories:
www.pennstate.edu
www.albright.edu
www.kutztown.edu
www.millersville.edu
www.ucal.edu
www.kent.edu
So lesson learned "the ONLY way to a red neck womans heart is by wearing a john deere hat" | | |
| yea...well...contrary to popular belief... Group One....featuring Julia, Ande, Kraz, Kristina, Racheal and myself will not be making our appearance on stage this year. More than half of our group has commitments in Maine or else where... and two outta the rest will be actually at the rally.... soo..... not this year..... next year hoepfully will be a treat with me as national president though for the youth.... so i cant wait... and hopefully the group will be at full strength next year..... hopefully julia finally decides to go try out for american idol too..... thatd be cool...
anyhow.... yea.... 10 days till i leave for rayne louisianna.... cant wait....
see ya when i get back.... im gonna like keep kinda like a diary maybe to post here when i get back so you know waht i did....if you want me to call too while im down...lemme know too | | |
| got some new magic tricks today...ask me to see them if you want too and ill try and get ahold of them from work and show them to you...some are quite good.....especxially with my most recent off...i couldnt refuse to not go out and buy a few more.... :)
anyhow...in more recap.... ill display two more that i wrote too for you to read....first one was written to lisann after nationals last year....last one was written ehhh.... awhile ago...to anonymous...
=======================================
=======================================
The door, it slams, and I still hear it. It echos in the deepest
reaches of my body. You are gone, that's it. I'm not going to see you
again for a whole year, and that echoing of that door slamming still
haunts me. It marks the end of a great summer.
I turn my head back to the dark road ahead. The main building lies
ahead of me, and yet there is nothing there for me, not anymore. The
road itself is unpredictable. I can't see what's ahead of me. That's
the road of life that lies ahead of me though, no one can predict what
it has in store for us.
I can manage to get to East Penn's section, they've always been able
to cheer me up when I was feeling crappy. But, the week's over and it
will never happen again. It's now only a memory, but how will I
remember it 10 or 20 years from now? How will you remember this week
10 or 20 years from now? As a happy memory or as something you would
like to forget?
I manage to get a few more steps in before I collapse to the cold wet
pavement beneath me. It is now that I notice that my vision hasn't
gone fuzzy, but I had tears in my eyes. I haven't cried in a few
years, but why now? Why over you? Is it over you or is it over the
entire youth group, not being able to see them again for an entire
year, or is it because I won't see you again for another year?
Is it because I've had that part of my heart empty for over a year
now, and that for this week I could keep you there and now it's empty
again? It felt good to have something there again...One of my tears
hits the pavement beneath my slumped body. Through
blurry eyes I look towards the heavens, and can only wonder why...
The stars are awfully beautiful, but I can't look at them for long, we
did this earlier in the week. The week has past, it's over, never to
happen again. I can never look at the stars the same way again. I hang
my head low again, my mind racing. Why, why must it always be me? I
didn't want to let you go, why did you have to leave my arms?
Everything was alright when you were there, and now...I'm empty.
At the dance, it felt good to hold you the way I did in my arms, your
smell, just heavenly. I still to this day, can swear I still smell
your perfume, wisk by my nose, momentarily...and then everything is
fine. But the smell, just as the week fades, and then I am cold and lonely
again, standing empty armed, by myself. Perhaps I shouldn't hurt myself again, maybe next year I should
just keep to myself and not get attached to anyone...
I finally manage to pull myself off the ground, and wipe my tears, as
something has snapped me back to reality. It was then I realized, the
light on your trailer has just turned off. How symbolic....the light
goes off, and I'm out in the dark, cold and alone. I finally manage to
pull myself over to East Penn which makes me feel better, but I still
can't stop thinking about you.
The ride iteslf the next day as we left the fairground, was hard as
well. You had been gone for a few hours, I slept through your
departure, but the memories still remain. I've been home for a few
days, but my heart still lies in Vermont, I close my eyes, and I
return to Vermont. Of course, the fairgrounds are empty and everyone
has left, and yet I've been left behind, standing in the exact same
spot where I collapsed outside where your trailer used to be. Where'd
everyone go?
But right now, I am confused, why do I keep seeing you, everytime I
close my eyes, everytime I breathe I feel you, everything I touch I
feel like I'm touching you. Why are you with me still? Why am I still
in Vermont? Why? I stand alone in Vermont...where are you?
=================================
=================================
"Take Me Back" - Ron Bush
"Oh Lord, take me back to when I met her that angel you did send,
the first time that I met her life was just so simple then.
The first time my heart skipped a beat when I saw her in the room
and the first time we hung out on that Sunday afternoon.
The first time that she fell asleep on me when so was weary
she felt so safe and so secure, me her little sanctuary.
Oh Lord please take me back to the first time I lost my breath
and to that time that I first made her smile,
knowing thigns would be okay for awhile.
The first time that we embraced, it felt so right, so true,
Oh Lord just take me back to when I thought she loved me too.
See, all I ever wanted to was to was to hold her im my arms,
all I ever wanted to do was to defend her from all harm.
See Lord my arms are empty and my babys gone away,
my little ray of sun Lord, there'll be no sun today.
There may be no more times for me to make her laugh no more times to make her smile,
all these things I'd done and more to go the extra mile.
Oh Lord just take me back to when I first thought I knew,
But I was wrong, she never did, she never loved me too."
==========================================================
==========================================================
Anyhow...that's enough for today...I'll update more tomorrow or something at somepoint...
god bless.....
ron | | |
| alright people..... cool day today....work went well...worked with collene and jor and those kids rule.... plus the kids from the day camp were sweet too and we had fun with them...i love doing the daycamps cause the kids just are sooo fun to get along with...
went home...rested...ate dinner with dad....got dressed and ran up to mohns hill.... hung out there for a bit with people....plus itll be one of the last chances i get to hang out with kelly wise.... *sadness* but i got to talk with courtney for a while afterwards and i got a senior picture as well..... im so generic..... hah hah...... but yea....tlaked with her.... and then talked with pastor jeff about some things too.... then left the church at 10....ran past my house and went up to the pool to talk with johnny and heather... and then was up there..... talking about things until the cop was like....what the heeck are u doing up here..... and then was like.... as long as it isnt a group of teenagers i dont care.... and left.....but yea...got home themn round midnight and preparing this post ever since....
this one is really long and more power to you if you have the dedication to read it, cause i would hope that you would find some interesting things in here.....
======================
======================
Now we all remember Tom that was in the accident and had amnesia..... this was Tom's story:
Tom bent over and picked his infant from the crib and he cradled baby Steven the way he knew he liked to be held. He still had a hard time understanding the entire incident. His memory had been greatly affected, and he had a hard time remembering things since then. The doctors told him that he had amnesia. He stared down at the child unable to remember exactly how the child had gotten there, but he was glad to see that the child had survived the incident as well.
"He has his mother’s eyes." A voice entered Tom’s little world and broke the connection that had between him and the baby. He looked up at the window to see his brother John in the reflection of the glass, standing behind him. He quickly looked passed the reflection and into the world, which was moving by, unaffected. They could still remember things, and yet Tom was let here to struggle to try and figure things out on his own. He slowly turned to meet the eyes of one few people that he could still remember.
"So they tell me," Tom’s expression didn’t change, "and yet, I can not even remember who his mother is." He broke off when he saw his brother’s eyes close and his head sink momentarily. "I’ve tried so hard John, I really have every day I have…"
"I know you have Tom," he said trying to reassure his little brother as he ran his hand over the baby’s silk-like skin on its face, briefly blocking the sun from bouncing off the sleeping infant’s closed eyelids. "They say it’s only a matter of time, that one day you will remember."
Tom turned from his brother again, like he had always done whenever he was trying to hide his emotions. "I shouldn’t have forgotten her." He placed the infant back into its crib and quickly kissed it. He turned to face his brother again. "Why can’t I remember?" He brother was silent. Tom turned out of frustration and punched the wall. Some plaster fell to the floor as he looked at the hold he had made with his right fist. The one hand that had moments before handled one of life’s precious treasures had now made a mark in a fairly hard wall. "See?" Tom asked demanding his brother. "I left and impression on that wall and I remember doing it," he swallowed hard, "if she left an impression on me, why can’t I remember her?"
John couldn’t answer that. He had always been able to answer his brother’s questions when they were younger. Sometimes they may not have been accurate answers or even true for that matter, but his younger brother had always looked up to him for answers. "I can take you to her," John pierced the silence of the room. Tom just simply nodded. He hoped that maybe seeing the woman he was supposed to have loved these past few years would jog his memory. He struggled to remember what this woman in which he devoted to live the rest of his life with, looked like. For better or for worse? Where was she now?
"She’s right over there," John assisted Tom over to where Jill was. They looked down at her grave stone as Tom knelt closer to the ground. He let his finger’s rub across her stone as he read it with his eyes:
Jill Richards Bertlos
The dates of her birth, as well as her death, were clearly below it. He laid a woman he was supposed to have known, supposed to have loved, and was supposedly the mother of his son. He struggled to remember anything at all of her. As he stared deeply into the stone, some thing started to come into focus.
He was standing on a beach, the ocean air running through his hair. The sun was going to be setting shortly, and he was watching the sun as it was getting lower on the horizon. He was standing barefoot on the sand, which was now mildly cool. He let his toes sift through the sand, the course grains rubbing between his toes. Then he could hear the ocean tide rolling in, just as he turned to see a woman heading in his direction.
He watched her approach him, her hair slightly blowing in the breeze, her smile as warm as a spring day. He smiled at the woman, and they embraced each other. They stood together motionless on the beach looking out at the sun set. One of God's most beautiful paintings was right in front of them. A sparkle out on the ocean caught his eye, and the woman next to him caught it too. "What is that Tom?" she asked him.
"Let’s see what it is as it gets closer." He smiled at her. And as they stood there the tide very slowly brought the shining object in towards the shore and as the sun was still above the horizon when it finally reached land. The woman broke off running towards the object, and Tom followed her. When Tom got there, she was knelt on the beach and was picking up the object which appeared to be a bottle. She pulled out the cork and dumped the contents of the bottle into her left hand. It was a ring, and as she looked up at him, he came to with a smile. "Will you marry me?" He asked her as she jumped up and embraced him once again. They pulled away from each other and looked into each other’s eyes, Tom realizing something familiar. She had Steven’s eyes. They quickly kissed each other and Tom whispered into her ear, "I love you Jill." Just as softly as the ocean air that was the only thing that was coming between them.
They then both sat down in the sand embracing each other as they watched the sun disappear beneath the horizon. He looked over and let the sand run out of his hands and float away and slowly fall back to Earth, he was again above her grave, and everything made sense. His brother John, was now knelt beside him and placed his hand on his shoulder. A warm comforting hand to reassure him that everything would be alright. Tom was now sobbing. He turned and hugged his brother, his mind searching for a thought; his heart, searching for a beat; and his lungs, searching for a breath.
"I forgot her" he eventually let escape his lips. And as a tear rolled down Tom’s cheek and hit the grass below it, it began to rain. And this was where the tears of man mixed with the tears of Earth.
---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
I managed awhile ago to type one out with a friend of mine named Lindsey and she helped me with it a while ago. Granted its a prequil to the first one here..... but this was written in the earlier years as I tried to progreess my writing skills. I'm open for suggestions. The John in this story is the John from Tom's story as well they are brothers.
And now, John's story:
The smell of ever greens filled the air, along with the faint
sounds of twigs snapping in the distance. John and Kasmia stood in the
middle of a path, with no one else around.
She slid on the boots that appeared in front of her and leaned down to
tie them. Putting away the polished black ones that she had been
wearing.
John slid on the boots that had appeared and he too tied them. He
picked up his pack from a nearby log, right where he had left it. Picking it up, he slid it onto his back and felt
the weight pull down on his back. It wasn't that bad, the pack had a
tent in it, about a gallon of water, some granola bars and a first aid
kit. Next to the log laid his binoculars and after he slid them onto
his neck he turned back to Kasmia.
Kasmia looked over at him, he was quite a comical sight with all his
gear and things. Leave it to a marine to make things that much harder on themselves.
Kasmia laughed. "I guess that's the difference between you and me, my
instinct is to go for less weight more stealth, but there you go
adding on as much as you can."
John realized he must've looked somewhat ridiculous, after all he had
only hiked this with himself before. He realized he could loose
the binoculars, and pulled them off of his neck and tossed them back into the car. He couldn't loose the pack though.
Looking back at the direction they had came, they turned to the new path,
and began walking. It felt great to be on the trail; he hoped to
teach Kasmia a little about hiking as well.
Kasmia followed John silently stepping around large rocks and limbs.
She mimicked his footsteps almost completely accurately. The sun
reflected through the large trees and moved along the ground
resembling a dance of some sort.
Kasmia smiled and hummed softly to herself as her hiking boots crunched along.
John smiled as he heard Kamia humming to herself. She must have been
enjoying herself so far, unless she was utterly bored, at which point
humming would be a way of escape. He had always liked hiking; it was
his way of escape. Getting out into the middle of nowhere, and just
walk. It didn't matter where one went to; as long as nature was there
on ever side of him...John tried to lift his right foot up once again.
Looking down at his foot after his second attempt he noticed he was
caught in mud. Looking back at Kasmia he chuckled, "That's never
happened before" and he promptly pulled his foot up out of the mud.
Turning around and looking at her, he held out his arms as an offering
to help her across.
Kasmia took John's extended arms and walked over the mud. "Oh, we all
do things like this sometimes. Usually when someone's watching,
unfortunately." Kasmia smiled.
"With my luck," he said standing there still looking at her, "of
course it does" he returned the smile. He started walking down the
path again, and realized that she had been following him for since
they started. Looking at the trail, he noticed it was big enough for
two people to walk side by side. He stopped a few steps later and
turned back to her. "This path is big enough for two people Kas. You
can walk beside me, unless you choose to be my shadow the entire
time." he cracked a half smile at her.
She smiled and walked up beside him " Didn't want to cramp your
style." she joked, "Actually, I was just studying your technique."
Kasmia looked over at the tall marine figure hiking along beside her,
and then nervously turned her glance back ahead.
"These trails can be quite tricky sometimes." John said, turning to
walk and then freezing again. He motioned to her that she too should
be still as he looked past a few trees off to her right, and saw a
white-tailed deer in the distance, which had also discovered their
presence in the woods as well. He pointed in the direction of the deer
and hoped that she saw it. He wasn't sure if she had ever seen a deer
before, yet alone a white tailed deer, and to the untrained eye and
ear, he would have totally missed it. Watching it carefully, he saw
another one, quite smaller, it was the baby. And as they continued
watching, more and more deer appeared from behind trees and rocks.
Looking at one specifically, he was amazed by the antler size of the
one buck. "Do you see them?"
He asked her looking at her looking into the forest herself.
Kasmia peered through the woods "Wow, they're beautiful, so majestic.
What are they?"
"White-tailed deer" came Bertlos' reply. "They are rather prevalent in
the this area of the north-eastern United States. The males have
antlers..." he stopped himself short. She had only asked him what they
were, not an entire history on the species.
Kas was in awe, she had never seen anything like this before.
"They're gorgeous."
"Aren't they?" Bertlos said quickly glancing back at her, her eyes had
not yet left the deer. "We shouldn't get too close, the males are
quite possessive and could attack us. As long as we leave them alone,
we should be all right. But hey are quite beautiful animals." he
returned his eyes back to the deer as they ate and a few kept watching
them. "Shall we be moving along?"
Kasmia: "Oh, sure. You lead the way."
Bertlos started walking again. If deer were beautiful to her, some things from where she was from just may be beautiful to him. He walked with Kas beside
him. He was confused, as they had not seen anyone else on the trail
since they started. It didn't matter, as they were the only ones in
the woods, walking together. That would increase their chances of
seeing more wild life as well. The trail itself was getting a tad
harder as they had hit a mountain area, and had to start hiking on a
harder incline. He hoped she could keep up, and if not he was there
to help her along the way.
"So, John..." Kas tried to start a conversation, but was lacking the
'small talk' bug that most women seem to have. "This is a nice path."
Bertlos took a first look at the pretty trail. "Yes it is." he replied
walking along and trying to specifically remember where this certain
point of the path.
Kasmia watched her feet as she walked along, trying not to trip, when
her precision and concentration was broken by a low branch that she'd
failed to notice. The clatter of limbs and leaves as Kas fell very
loudly to the rocky ground. She muttered something irritated in her native language, forgetting momentarily that she was not alone. Then she
looked up and John and tried to recover. "I uh, hope you don't know
what I said." she laughed as she rose and dusted herself off.
John smiled as she got up, trying to not chuckle. He had had a course in the Marine academy, and choose not to comment on what she
had said. It wasn't lady like. If she hadn't gotten up by herself, he
would've helped her up but that wasn't needed. "Besides what just
happened, what do you think of the trails?" He said turning back
around and breaking a few branches ahead of her this time as he passed
them.
Kasmia let John walk ahead a few steps, once the embarrassment of what
she'd said sunk in. "Yes, They're very enjoyable."
A few meters ahead John broke into a run as he remembered the spot
like he had been there yesterday. His old girlfriend had brought him
here, and he hadn't forgotten it. Motioning for her to come and run
with him, they ran for a few more meters and John stopped dead in his
tracks. Turning to his right, he looked into the clearing. The sun was
setting through the trees as the sun's rays shone through. He looked
back at her to see her reaction to such a beautiful sight.
Kasmia looked out into the sunset, she smiled. The sight was
gorgeous, so artistic. She breathed in the cool mountain air and
looked over at John. Everything had a orange hue to it, it was very
calming. "It's spectacular," Kasmia said. "But you know what's even
more spectacular?"
Looking at her, returning his eyes back to the beautiful sunset for a
short time while she was talking and turned back to her again with a
warm gentle smile and said, "What is more spectacular than this?"
Kas grinned slyly and turned away from John, facing directly into the
sun. "Never Mind, you know it really is stunning." She laughed as she
squinted into the sunlight.
John's right eyebrow raised in thought. She surely was
something. She was taken in by the sunset, something that John hadn't
seen in the last fifteen years since he had been here with his last
girl friend Amanda. They thought that they would be together, but that
was before John decided to join the marines. When he completed
training, he realized he had lost her. They had little in common and
she had moved on with someone else. It was amazing on how much a
person could change in the few years he spent training with the
marines. Amanda had brought him up here and he broke her heart that
day, telling her he would be joining the marines. "Amanda," he said
looking at the back of Kas.
Realizing his mistake of calling her his old girlfriend, he quickly
corrected himself. "Kas," he said hoping that she had missed his
mistake, "would you like to sit down?" he motioned to a nearby rock.
Kas, puzzled by his strange behavior cocked her head slightly, and
then brushed it off. "Alright," She said hesitantly. She had always
been a loner, and was very unaccustomed to being sociable she hoped
she wasn't doing anything rude. She decided to just be perfectly
blunt and honest with John, "I hope I haven't been rude or anything,
people don't usually socialize with me. Frankly, I think they're
afraid of me." she joked.
John sat down next to her, looking at the slowly setting sun, and then
returning his gaze back to her. "Why would you say people are afraid
of you? You are such a friendly person to be around."
Kasmia laughed, "If only you knew..."
"Honestly Kas," Tom said continuing, "I've had a good time with you
tonight. Sometimes you just need to spend some time with someone alone
to get to better know them. I've done that tonight. I don't see why
someone would be afraid of someone as beautiful and unique as you." he
turned away for a brief instant to try and find the location of the
owl that had just hooted behind them. He returned his gaze back to her
again.
Kasmia looked into his deep brown eyes, the sunlight danced over his
face as the clouds moved slothfully across the sky. "There's still a
lot you don't know about me...and I have the tact of a bulldozer."
"I wouldn't say that Kas. You haven't offended me at all yet. You said
everything just right, and this is very enjoyable." John looked down at the
lizard that was crawling across his hand as he tossed it off the rock.
Honestly Kas..." he looked back at her, this time closely into her own
eyes.
She cocked her head questioningly, "Honestly what?" She set her hand
down on the rock and then returned her gaze to John, he had a gentle,
calm countenance, that had a strange effect on Kas. She smiled when a
lock of hair fell down into his face, she felt so childish, so
strange. She scolded herself inwardly for acting so idiotic.
Looking at her initially smiling and then stopping her smile, he
realized he had a lot to learn about her. "What's so funny?"
'Dang' Kasmia thought, he was very observant. "Your hair, I don't
know, I just...you're very nice."
When he noticed he had a part of his hair out of place, he quickly
fixed it and blushed at the fact that it was just that messy. He
looked back up at her and simply placed his hand on her cheek and
said, "You are priceless sometimes."
A chill went down her spine, his warm hand on her face, she smiled.
"You, are certainly one of the most interesting people I've ever met
Mr. Bertlos." she placed her hand on his leg next to her.
John said nothing but just simply ran his hand up her face, and
through her hair before he brought his hand to rest on her hand that
was on his leg. John took another look back out at the sun as it was
taking one last shimmering glimpse on the mountains he looked back at
her, "Now there are two beautiful things here." He stopped, realizing
that he had just met her a few hours before and something like that
may make her feel a little uncomfortable. "I'm sorry," he said looking
at her. "I shouldn't have said that..."
She'd felt safe, and comforted for a split second as he ran his hand
down her face, and then he stopped. Kasmia laughed, "That's alright,
I always was one to rush into things." She looked over at him, it was
curious, she was so nervous before she came that she would just
confirm the rumors about herself, that she was a misfit.
"The sunset's almost gone now..." Kasmia said softly into the dusk.
John turned back and looked to confirm what she had said. "Yes it is,
it will be gone in a few minutes now Kas." he looked back at her.
"Soon the stars will be out, which is my favorite part after a sunset.
Is naming the constellations." John felt a chill and then warmth again
after quickly glancing at his arm to realize he had goose bumps. "Have
you ever seen the constellations from the US before?"
Kasmia reluctantly moved a few inches closer to John, "No I haven't I
grew up in South Africa, and never really paid much attention to
the stars during my time at the academy. I suppose I was too busy
getting into fights."
He turned away from the night sky to look back at her, "You got into
fights? Come on now, someone as cute as you got into fights?" The wool
sock he were wearing where starting to itch him so he kicked off his
boots and took off his socks with his own feet, a skill he had learned
from an instructor, incase your hands are busy doing something else or
you are tied or something. Quite a useless skill really, but he didn't
want to look away from her.
"I got into many of them, almost got kicked out
at one point for breaking a guy's arm. That's why I went into
intelligence, you need the wit, the stealth...and the ability to fight
your way out if things get tough." She watched him get out of his
shoes in one smooth move, quite a task to say the least.
"Well I figured you were a bit agressive," he said taking his left hand thumb
and running it across her forehead. "But I have yet to
see the aggression that is stereo-typically associated with
you." He said looking back into her blue eyes. "And besides, your
eyes are beautiful as well. They are a pretty blue." He laid down on
his side and propped his head up with his right arm and hand.
Kasmia sat there staring at the handsome figure lying there next to
her. "Thank you, I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to see my
aggressive side if you stick around long enough." She paused for a
moment, "Mind if I lay here next to you?"
Tom looked at the space that she had indicated. "Do you see anyone
laying here next to me right now?" he said with a smile and motioned
that she could come a little closer if she wanted to.
She moved closer and smiled..."Just a few more minutes until we can
see the stars clearly, if I'm right."
John looked back up at the stars and pointed at place in the sky and
even though there were no stars visible yet, he asked, "Do you see the
first constellation coming into view? You have to look closely to see
it."
Kas peered through a gap in the trees, trying to see what John had
been gesturing towards "I think I see something..."
As he had hoped, he caught her off guard and gently kissed her on the
cheek. He quickly returned his head back down to the cold ground and
acted like nothing had happened. He did so with a half smile, and
quickly hid it.
"Hey!" She laughed, "What'd I do to deserve that?" She said,
wondering if he was going to play innocent.
"Do what?" he asked trying hard not to leak a smile or start laughing.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
Kasmia slyly smiled "I suppose, I'll have to demonstrate", she said,
turning over, and kissing John's cheek.
"Oh, that?" he said finally unable to hide his smile any longer, "What
did you deserve that for? Being beautiful is a
crime you know Kas. And has to be settled with the right proper
action. So I kissed you." Now he realized that he was tripping over
his words. Oh boy, he thought to himself. I am in deep.
She laughed 'how charming' she thought "Well, I think that's a
punishment I can take now and then, though, I've only taken it a few
times before..." she was so irritated, she was acting like a child,
why couldn't she just act like the mature, independent adult that she
was?
Now it was around the time that the stars were starting to make their
appearances in the sky. John looked up and saw the North Star was the
first one that was making an appearance in the young night sky.. The
star that pointed 18th century explorers home.
Kasmia laid there silently, soaking it all in. Stars faded into view,
her tired eyes fluttered gently as looked up into the sky. She smiled
and then...
..."No..." she said softly under her breath. "No," she said a bit
louder as her mind flashed from past to present, memory to reality,
"No!" her fierce call pierced the air, she sat up her hands shaking
uncontrollably... "I, I'm sorry John..." She sat there, clenching her
shaking fists. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her
arms tightly around them. She looked up into the stars distantly for
a moment, and then turned to John. "I apologize, maybe I should go.
John was lulled by the peace of the wind blowing through the trees,
some night animals just awakening, and then, all broken by her
'attack' that had seemed to happen. "Are you alright?" John said as he
sat up placing his hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down.
"I think so..." she said, "I guess I just dozed off or something for a moment."
"Are you sure you are all right?" he asked he again with a little
worried tone in his voice, his one hand massaging the shoulder that
his hand laid on.
"I hope so." She said, trying to reassure him. She didn't feel fine,
but she was sure it would pass; it was all just bad memories,
hopefully. His hand on her shoulder was very comforting, oddly
enough, she felt safe sitting there. "I really am sorry, I don't know
what got into me."
"It's alright." he said taking his free hand and placing it under her
chin and lifting her head up in the direction on the night sky. "Look,
the stars are coming out." he said looking as the Milky Way also was
barely becoming visible.
"Wow, they're beautiful." she said, she looked up into the sky. "So
John, do you have any siblings?"
"Yes, I have a younger brother named Tom. He saved my
life." he looked back down from the sky and back at her. "What
about you Kas?"
"I have five siblings, four brothers, two sisters. Four grown, two
still living at home." She looked over to John as the stars glittered
in his eyes, and then turned her gaze back towards the stars. "I
actually had just finished meeting one of my brothers when you
happened upon me earlier today."
"Really?" John said realizing how clear the night sky was. More stars
would be out shortly, and soon stars that were millions of miles away
from them would light up the entire night sky.
"Yeah, really..." She laughed, "There's a lot of us." She leaned back
against the rock and threw her braid off of her shoulder. "So,
hmm...what else do you enjoy doing? Other than hiking, and the things
you've already told me?"
"Well," John said getting mushy and trying to lighten the mood again,
"I like spending time with you, and spending most of my free time with other friends." he said pointing to their surroundings. "There's a lot more, but I don't want to drone to you about it. What do you enjoy?"
Kasmia smiled at his laid-back manner "I enjoy...dancing, chess, 20th century music, novels, playing the saxophone,
Anbo-jytsu, Racquetball, and...I've enjoyed tonight."
John looked back over at her, into her pretty blue eyes. He had never
seen a more beautiful set of blue eyes on a woman. He simply looked at her and smiled. Glancing down at her hand,
which laid on the rock, he picked it up and held it in his hand.
Returning he eyes back to hers, he said, "So have I Kas. So have I."
She sat there silently for a while looking back and forth between the
stars, and her companion. She hummed softly, and moved her hand next
to John's. "I wonder what time it is...," she said, almost like she
didn't care.
John thought about it a minute and he didn't really care what time it
was, "I don't know what time it is Kas," he blatantly, "but does it
really matter?" John started to think about a song that described the
feelings that he had running through him right now, and was at a loss
of what song it was. He sat next to her though, and was the happiest
he had been in a long time.
"Guess not..." she shrugged. "Know what?"
John was still looking at her when she asked the question. "What?" he
asked with a smile as he wondered what answer this beautiful creature
beside him would reply with.
"You...are the nicest person I know, and right now, I would love
to mess up your hair." She laughed, "I don't know why."
John laughed at her response and tilting his head down, he said, "Go
ahead. You know you want to."
Kasmia ran her fingers through his soft hair, and then left her arm
wrapped around his shoulder. "There, much better."
He managed to wrap his right arm around her and pull her closer. It
was getting cold, and she was warm. He rested his head on her head and
let out a deep sigh.
She curled her legs into closer to her and leaned into John as the
breeze swept whimsically past them. She was glad to know that he
enjoyed her company as much as she enjoyed his. "It's getting a bit
chilly isn't it? Good thing I have someone nice that will let me sit
next to him..." she joked.
"Yes," he said after a short while. "And I am glad that you are here
with me." Tom had finally found the moon and a chill ran down his back
a second time. "Do we ever have to leave?"
Kasmia looked at him "I certainly wish we didn't! But I'm afraid it's
inevitable, we both have jobs to do tomorrow. Five more minutes,
pleaaaase?"
John rubbed her arm with the hand that he had wrapped around her
shoulder. "I don't see why not..." he said lifting his head and
looking over at her with a small smile.
A distant melody swam through Kas' head as she lay there against John;
she wished this could last forever. She was more content here than
many other places.
John looked back up at the stars, and at a few of his favorite
constellations. Pieces, the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and a few
others. Unfortunately, with the season they were in, Orion's Belt
would not be visible for quite a few months yet. "This is
sooo...perfect." John finally managed to get out. It was a little bit
colder, and John pulled Kas a little bit closer for warmth.
Kas laughed as he pulled her closer, she hugged him tightly for a
minute "I would have to agree." She leaned her head against his
shoulder, it felt natural, and then she lifted it, realizing what
she'd done. She didn't want to be too forward...
John looked down at her when she had placed her head against his
shoulder, and when she lifted it back up; John nicely placed his hand
on her head and pushed it back to his shoulder. "It's alright," he
said finally. "Nothings wrong. Go ahead."
Kasmia smiled "I was afraid I was being...you know."
"Never." John said returning the smile. A few lightning bugs were also
taking flight now as well, and John watched them as they flew by. They
blinked, and when John looked into the distance he could swear he
almost saw several hundreds. As he returned his view to Kas, he saw a
lightning bug fly by. He caught it with his free hand and lowered it
to Kas's view. Opening his hand, the bug blinked a few times.
"It's beautiful, it's glow is so radiant!" She exclaimed, "funny with
all of the technology, how such small things from nature are still so
amazing..."
"Yes it is." as John spoke the bug took flight again and re-joined its
brothers and sisters to light up the night. "It is amazing at how the
simple things are still the most amazing." John looked back up at the
moon again, and smiled.
"Yes, like a smile, or a pair of sparkling eyes like yours." She
jibed. She looked over at him and raised one eyebrow slyly...
"What are you getting at?" he cracked a smile as he looked back at
her. It was something about her eyes, her pretty blue eyes. Why was he
soo drawn to her? Every time he looked into her eyes, everything else
in the universe didn't matter. It was like the universe was at peace
whenever he looked at her. John didn't know what to say next.
"I just think you're very charming." She laughed and changed the
subject before he could respond, "I was just thinking, next time we
should do something more active. That is, if you want to hang out
again sometime?" She blushed at having made an assumption that might
not be true and putting him in a corner if he didn't want to spend
time with her again.
John broke into a hearty laugh, "Who would want to spend more time
with you anyway?" he looked at her with a big grin on his face. "I
would," he said calmly and more seriously. "I had a great time. What do you want
to do next time?" he asked he standing up on the rock.
"I was thinking something along the lines of 1920s swing dancing,
maybe at Vic Fontaine's...I'll leave it up to
you." Kas stood up as well, and brushed herself off.
It didn't take John long at all to make up his mind. "I think I'll
go with 1920's swing dancing" he said finally offering briefly to help
her up but then realizing that she didn't need any help. "I've never
done it before, so it should be interesting." he chuckled. "I had a
great time tonight." he said hesitating on whether or not he wanted to
get closer to her or not.
She took his hand anyway "I love dancing...and I've had a wonderful
evening as well. she walked a few inches closer to him. "Just don't
be too afraid of me in a dress, it's pretty bad...and you have to wear
a tux, or a silk shirt or something." she laughed fingering the
backside of his hand nervously."I guess I should...go now." She said
softly, subconsciously hoping that if she didn't say it loud he
wouldn't hear her."
It was then John reached out and held her close to him. He pulled her
into his embracing arms and held her tightly, "Don't leave me," he
said softly into her ear. "Don't go."
Kasmia rested her head on his shoulder...she kissed him softly on the
cheek. "I wish I could stay forever..."
"Then stay..." John said softly still holding her close to him. "We
don't ever have to leave..." He knew what he had just said was a lie,
but if he could he would stay here forever with her. He had his career
ahead of him the next day, and she had hers, they would have other
times to get together and be with each other. He just wanted to hold
her for just a bit longer.
She looked into his eyes and smiled warmly "I'll see you tomorrow, and
if you need me before then, just call me and I'll be right
next to you as fast as I can get me there." She smiled
"I promise."
"Alright," he said finally releasing her from his warm embracing hug.
"I'll see you tomorrow sunshine." he managed to finally get out.
She smiled and squeezed his hand..."Sweet dreams" she said as she
walked back to the parking lot.
John stood there looking out into the valley in front
of him and smiled. ~Life is worth living after all~ he looked back up
at the moon and smiled .
================================
================================
That's all for now...cause I am falling asleep sitting here again... and the last time that happened...I wrote embarrassing things on courtneys xanga...lol
more poems and things to follow in a bit
night all...god bless | | |
|
